Always family

Isn't it ironic, that we ignore the ones who adore us,
adore the ones that ignore us,
love the ones who hurt us, and
hurt the ones that love us

 As the quote goes, this year I laugh, cry , got angry but the things i experience can't be compare to  the regret for my lack of commitment for family. 

Don't get me wrong I love them with all my heart but sometimes we get suck into our busy every day lifes. Working, socialising with friends, facebook that we forget the simple and most important thing in life.

                                                     Our Family

 Every year i feel like we're drifting apart. And when I try to sleep, I ponder that no one is infinite, this memories i have of them and me one day it will disappear along with the person. 


  Since 2011 is gonna end soon, I want to make one of my new year resolution to spent and try to make an effort to reconnect with my family . And I hope all you readers do the same too  .

My day

You are my day

wondering about you, I look at the clouds and see that today is all about you
I smile thinking about the way you smile, thinking of your face when you blush
The sun is bright, my heart is full, my mind is on you
It doesn't matter if you are sad or angry, I will bring a smile to your face
Let me hold you and let every ounce of  my love consume you
keeping a smile on your beautiful face for me

Dark eyes

Очи чёрные, жгуче пламенны!
И манят они в страны дальние,
где царит любовь, где царит покой,
где страданья нет, где вражды запрет.

Black eyes, burning flames!
And they attract a distant country,
where there is love, where there is peace,
where there is no suffering, where hostility ban.

5 minutes Sketch

 

As you can see my sketch is quite fade because i was using a 2B pencil that I didn't press hard

on it . And my fine liner is dead so ya..kinda a half ass job 

                                                            I love architectual buildings especially those

                                                             that came from the  Renaissance period .

                                                             So my attempt of sketching it .

Conforming of the conformist

 

                   There is no such thing as a bad person with a bad personality. But there are personalities that don't go well with others . Also who exactly make those decisions?

                 
                Anyone can misunderstand others without any basis or evidence.

                     So you shouldn't try to become  something based only what others think of you.

Thoughts of an unknown ( inspirational prompts )

                
                 Doesn't this seem ridiculous

                

         I thought that I'll be able to catch up to her in time

           
                   

             


    And yet she  was snatched away by someone else.

Online gaming dedications

          
   If only life came with a ◄◄ REW ► PLAY ▌▌PAUSE █▌STOP

   I would go back to the time of the MMORPG games that I have been playing. For damn I make so many good friends but I never did get thier facebook. Damn me and they stop playing and we stop talking.
Online games that I have play: Godswar online, Crystal Saga, Maple story, ourWorld, 100 years war etc

                          We just drift off to different places, but I hope someday when I walk in France, Germany or whatever continent they are. I cross thier path, even if we don't recognize hope they remember the memories of us playing around killing other factions ;) .

 The memorable players name that was in my guild , my helper, my friends and even my free-enemies :  meroko, dana, wizz, avacado, jesus, darwin, xxsfja, ixte, Ommi, ciecie, baldur, azuii, horodus,evilas423 etc and those that i may have forgot or too much to mention. forever and ever in my gaming life I'll remember u all)

Dedication to thos speacil people

                  I'm thankful to those people  that help me 
                    and never leaving me when tough times come .

Today in History 27th November

 At  1826 November 27th ,   Jedediah Smith's expedition reaches San Diego, becoming the first Americans to cross the southwestern part of the continent.

Sing of Sonnet

With their treacherous eyes they criticize

Nobody dares to rebel against them

But I that stuck here in this narrow cage

With trample dreams and secrets, left despair

Shouts are heard in a nightmare scream, haunts who wakes

Those turn a blind ear and eye left soulless

We fight and fight but resistance is futile

Our world is just black and white, no colours left

It feels like a dream of colours all over

Before it gets taken from me, I sing

For hope is a dream of better days

For though they stand now, I must not lose faith

Sing of our plight, and remember the song

Fight for freedom from dawn to night, dreams reign. 

( my first attempt in writing a sonnet) 

I'm here

           
          Sleeping through this soaring Summer heat, I laid in my bed thinking "  I wish  to not grow up."  It maybe a childish , impossible dream but yet I long for it.

           This maybe stupid but I don't want to grow old even though  my mind accepts that my birthday comes and pass. The people that surround me will change. My love ones and my friends. It scared the daily light out of me.

            Than the thoughts keeping churning in my mind than I thought what happen when you close your eyes. What happen, when your put into a coffin lower down the ground or your body awaits for a burning fire.  But I know this is mother nature ways to maintain this wonderful Earth.

           For every living this that is born , there's always someone slipping in to darkness.

         I pray for those soul that has no one else that remember them.  sincerely Patricia Lim

Validation to my heart

I guess I am nothing because no one has ever told me I am 'something'.

We all need validation, to be adored,
wanted, respected, accepted and loved,
without all of them I have just grown up to know I am worthless and thus nothing.
I have no talents, nothing I am passionate about,
 
I am different to all the other people,

I never share anything in common with others.
There is just me and my worthless self here.
I feel like nothing,

I know I am nothing,

I am a meaningless nothing.

I want to disappear,
no one would never noticed a nothing who disappeared anyway.

Wanting for time

I would stop time for you. Because your memories are precious to me

                    
       Walking through the wards, the sound of heartbeats are music to my ears but I know there will  be  fading sounds signaling the death of someone dear.

                      

                   It was a cloudy October morning, where I was waking from my slumber. I was trying to rub away my sleepiness away. The laughter of my daughter ring through the house. 

              

 

               " Mommy, mommy. Time to wake up" her uneven pig tails hair look in through my door with a loop sided smile. 

              

             

 

         The corner of my mouth involuntarily curve up. I  jump out from my bed hugging Alicia down.  The scent of strawberries fill my nose. This is what a mother  feel like, and I'm the proudest mother of all. 

           

                 " Mommy , are you going to the hospital today?" 

     

 

      " No, Alicia. Today my time is with you and I promise to show you the city right ? 

           

             She bob her head down frivolously, and speaking gaily that she wants to walk across a pedestrian crossing , see the birds in the city  park , eat ice cream and go feed the ducks.  I just grin and  shoo her away to change before I carry her to the car to start our little adventure.

               We first went to the zoo to check out the animals . Her love for animal was evidant for she always presist me to take picture of her and all the animals . Than when we were looking at the Orang Utan a team of vet was doing their regular checkup on them, taking out any thorns out from their feet etc .

                  

 

         Alicia face lit up and  loudly crying out " Mommy, I'm gonna be a animal doctor when I grow up. I'll save animals just like how you save people "  The family that were visiting was smiling and looking at my Alicia with amusement.  

              

 

                Slowly I crouch down to Alicia and whisper in her ear " That you will do, and the animals will love you for that. " Alicia keep staring at the team of vets and  smile. 

                    

                    After the zoo, we were waiting at a busy intersection waiting for the pedestrain light turn green. She look across the street , staring at the beautiful birds. While I warn her that she need to wait for t he light turn green. 

                        

                        The  pedestrian light turn green and Alicia ran. At that time I thought the pedestrian light are safe but I was wrong....so wrong . My smile falter as I saw driver hitting my daughter. 

                   

                        I gasped,  I was stupefied. The scene unfolded as drivers that we were waiting at the intersection ran from thier car , onlookers were shock. Thats when I quickly ran to my daughter shouting

                                     

 

               " Someone call 911,  Please. "   As that happens I quickly try to find a pulse and luckily I felt the heartbeats. As Alicia eyes flutter, I got kinda panic. 

                           " Alicia, don't close your eyes. You can't because the ambulance are coming. They take you to the hospital.   I keep talking to her till the ambulance arrive taking out a stretcher and delicately carry her up and with my in toll  as we  sped away  .

                           

 

          We were send to an emergency room, where doctors  and nurses running around trying to subside the blood lost. Than a head doctor where I vaguely remember walk up to me with a blank look. 

                           " Your the patients mom, right? As a collegue , a doctor. I won't give you false hope, but  your daughter has a need for a heart. " 

                        My eyes widen in shock. " Is there any  heart donor right now?" He shook his head from side to side but than I thought of an idea. " How about you guys using my heart, to let her live?" 

                        

 

                 " It's unethical to do that to a healthy person. You should know that, and even if its possible. You'll die in her stead, where you'll leave her forever without a mom."  he silently sigh with sadness. " I recommend you, your daughter only have an hour to live give or take. So spend time with her, give  her comfort. " 

                     

 

            I quickly open the door, to witness the sad sight of Alicia. Her blood wound reside but I know inside her heart has suffer too much damage to live. I felt tears almost welling up. 

             

                           " Mommy its ok, don't be sad."  Ironically she gave me a loop sided smile like  the one in the bedroom not a   few hours ago . " I'll be okay." 

                            

 

                     The tears prickle down my cheeks as I was holding her hand. Tears pour down like a river  till I feel her hands give out but I'm still wanting to hold her.

                        

 

               I shudder  not knowing if its  the sad memory to resurface or the cool blast of wind that is gently blowing around me. I was on the hospital roof and silently put another pot of flower plant to commemorate the memory of my daughter , Alicia. 

               

               

 

           She was there again, another year has past so fast . With the pot of plant but something is up. She took out a bottle of tablets and as the tablet hit her mouth. His horrified expression tells all, that will be the last anyone will see her again. Well alive at least.

 

        

   

Sunshine to my eyes

  I don't know why they call it heartbreak.  It feels like every other part of my 
              body is broken  too.

       

             The pressure to succeed is always there. The pain of failures are always there waiting to collapse on my shoulder and that happen  on the Spring of my 19th birthday. It was one of those days where life just past by slowly until I met her .......

                   I was walking through a small cafe at Oxford Street  ,waiting for my mates.  That's where I met her. She's the most gorgeous girl that I ever seen , well more like a Madonna. Her glossy black hair shining under the spring sun with a gentle breeze sweeping her hair to the side letting me admire her beautiful hazel eyes.  At that moment, I know the true meaning of love at first side .

 

                            Before I knew it my mind its screaming " the one" . 




                I was going up to her  when one my best friend wrapped his hand over her and kissing " my Madonna" on her cheek.  My hand became clamy. The once gentle breeze  becomes quite chilly. Chilling my heart. My thoughts racing in my head trying to find a logical explanaition. 


                
                   " Happy Birthday, mate. It's been so long.  Meet Jessica, she my girlfriend. "
         
              " Happy Birthday, Liam. I heard many great things about you. " her warm smile seem like sunshine to my eyes.

      
                  I was stunned  by the news and it numb my head. " Get yourself together, Liam. Answer you bloody idiot." Thats when I know life is just a twisted game.





                    

     

Inovation

 As a proverb goes " Some who reads the manual, and others will pee on a fence " to understand how they work.

   I've been to quite a few video conferencing about some new research going on for medicine and "WOW". It's remarkable how humans are always developing for new ideas to make our life easier and healthier.Anyway  if I go in detail the research they are doing. It will take a few dozen pages of explaining to do.

   Well  hopefully all this research will lead to a breakthrough and a cure.Pray that happen, than no one nid to suffer.

  

Is there no solutions ??

   BAD...bad ...bad...if you guys haven't head that the IMF funding is runnign low right now due to them trying to bail Greece from defaulting . So right now, you might think its not our problem if your not in Greece but your wrong !! 
   
   To those people living in Europe especially and across nations. Its really bad news, for by any chance if Italy , France or Germany can't cope under the amount of economy pressure. You can't say goodbye to Euro's .

   If that's not  bad enough worst  news in Asia, as rumor been circulating that China growth is slowing down which lead a down in commodities which lead for the Aussie Dollar to go down. The third largest economy ,   Japanese Yen and Nikkei  is rising as the country major income are  exporting probably won't leave get them out from the double digit in the reds.

    Evidently there's also the most annoying crisis in America. Which thier uncontrollable debt, they can't seem to find a solution to it. So whatever what happens there no real solution in my eyes. But hey, I don't have a Economics degree or business degree  so I can't say much. 

   Whatever happens,  the Americans politicians need to get their act together. Find a solution with their economist and treasurers.  European countries , I pray for you guys to pull through this at least in one piece. Asia, better not fail in this crucial times.

Believe in yourself

The feeling of your world expanding
It's so fun you cant stop
Its not about being strong its not a shape
It's the power to believe in something that you can't see

What is waiting beyond this point?
Even so, i will just keep running

Your warmth

  The regrettable  thing I learned the past two weeks, is my lack of connection with my relatives and close family members. I never knew that my mom was worried about me drifting off and becoming a lone wolf ( I'm pretty sure I'm quite sociable xD) .
  
   I guess I forgot the true meaning of family. Thier never ending warmth and unquestionable hugs. Under this horrible Melbourne spring weather, I realize that family is the most valuable thing a human can have.

 So to all that doesn't have a close relationship with thier family, maybe its time to set aside your difference and communicate unless you have the most evil relatives in your family ( like some parts of my family ) than you can just ignore them ;)

Meeting my doom

 I'm sorry that my previous post seem to fill with jealous and anger . Well, I sincerely apologize for my lack of refine words to describe my emotions that day but I just gotta get rid of that negative emotions and back to my state of peace :D

   Anyway I got my result from my examination and damn I'm a dumb person. My maths is just okay but for some unknown reason my English seem to be superior than why am I not doing exelerated English Class??

   The anwser is just right in front of me. Tenses. Essays. Those are my worst and dreaded enemies. They haunt me till I finally get it correct or else. My mother language will be my weakness for all eternity.

Courtesy to Beijing Government

. They have bad English for thier sign ;)

 It's really annoying how people has the nerve to try to replace someone from the family or your groups of friends. But guess this processes are part of life.

 For now Can't be F**k right now to do anything but just feel miserable .



Welll beside that, I have a wonderful friend thats happily engage :D Im so happy for them
So congratulation ^^

What NOT to do when playing MMO games etc

 A guide to all playersthat play MMO games or MMORPG games online. Anyway tips for NOT to do when playing this kind of games.

Golden Rules
1) Don't freaking share your account password ( number 1 reason why ppl get hack - _ -) 
2) Respect players ( if games has pvp function or elite hunt don't ks from them or kill them when they are doing quest )  <- all the ppl that don't follow this rules either ur strong or weak your a NOOB 
3) If your getting ks or dieing don't freaking flood chat its part of the game . Accept and move on or remember their names and get your friends to kill them ;)
4)  Don't ever ask other players for things when you can just get it yourself  because everyone in game "work hard" to get equips, spell books and those shenanigans.

5) Most important rule , don't  do anything stupid like use cheats or swear at players because GM'S will hunt you down and might give you a warning or disable your account depending the severity of your offense.

                                                         !!! YOU HAVE BEEN WARN  !!!
                  ( reason why I post this because it just take one idiot to destroy other players gaming experience 
                                                                 I myself have work as a GM before)

Quadratics

     I don't want to bag about Quadratics Equation but its freaking annoying. I've only been studying  it for only one day and does the teacher expect me for no reason to spout formulas from the top of my brain. ~

    - . - freaking hate Quadratics for the simplest reason. I'm oblivious of using cross-multiplication method or completing the square. Well I presume what I deducted from the concept is correct even that I have no clue what the equation require which formula.

Got to move forward

   No one like failures , I especially loath it with a detest but unfortunately its part of life. My failures are like the beckoning sign that against my peers I'm incompetent and I won't disagree. Academically I thought I stand a chance to beat my competitors but the sad reality is I got beaten not like a weak  punch but a knock out.

  Well, got to write that down for at this day, its time I strike back to show them this failure won't phase my plans nor will it they beat me at the next stage. 


      

Failure is success if we learn from it.

Its your decision to make a difference

   Nearly a billion people went hungry last night. And our world population is 6.6 billion. The rest 5.6 billion people are lucky because they have the resources and money to get food.

   You think hunger is not that bad, but your wrong.  Hunger is WRONG!! But its happening all around the world. Its time for change, part of the world vision program I take part the 40 hour famine giving up speech and furniture for the greater cause to raise awareness and money to feed East Timor kids that doesn't have food that we 5.6 billion of us take granted.

http://40hf.com/patricialim 

  click the link to make a difference

Damn my superanuation fund

 To all bloggers, readers and aliens :))

   You all may have heard or ( haven't heard) that the U.S. credit rating downgraded  to AA+ from its top rank of AAA. And to those that has superanuation fund invest in the stock market. Theres a posibility that the stock will crash >_> .

Credicted: CNN

  Well hope the republicans and democrats are damn proud of them self of their proud self to put aside difference and find a solution to actually " solve" their debts. Now tomorrow gonna check how bad it affected Aussie stocks .

My dog ate my homework

By a new zealander illustrator

 

I feel so sorry to the dog that actually ate homework >_<

Use Electricity wisely

For once a billboard that doesn't contradict what its trying to state!!

Forget your fairytales

 When we are young, we believe life is one big fairytale. We don't think anything bad can happen to us because they'll always be someone there to protect us , to defend us. We also  believe that we  might grow to be princess, wizards or kings.

As we grow up, we realize that life's not so simple. That mommy and daddy won't always be there , and sometimes we need to sallow away our fears and take what comes. We realize that in order to have a happy ending we must work for it , because nothing comes without a price.

Living with the choices we make is never easy

Credicted: Patricia Lim aka me ;) 

 Life doesn't always work out the way we expect , and than again , sometimes it does. Does it work out we expected because we make it happen ? Or does it happen because we are to scared to try to walk the path which God prepared for us ?  Ask yourself : When doors open do you walk through them ? Or do you past them by content with your current path? Do you do the will of God ? Or do we exist knowing we may love god , but we allowed fear to overtake our life's so we don't follow the plan he had for us .

Dedication to an awesome friend

  To my dearest friend for making our time awesome and bringing joy with my dull existence ;)
, and even though our memories were short lifted.
We have our ups and down but in the end we all had our last laguh
                                       ~    Hope you all the best in your studies and in life ~
                                                  ( His the one that recommend many cool songs )

Never underestimate common objects

   I'm quite awe by how everyday household objects ( well except cola since I love drinking water xD ). You are able to make a successful battery that make your LED light O_O  ( stands for light emitting diode) .   You need the following items cola or in American terms coke  , coins , a cup with salt and aluminum foil .  It will work  
probably about 2 volts and only a few milliamps, but its still can't pass those companies that sell batteries commercially ( obviously )
 

Credicted to 99media

  I heard there's  another method which uses lemon to make the batteries.

Futuristic batteries ( Physics)

     What prompt me to do this because the last couple of weeks, I was either making batteries or building a complicated series of circuit to finish my semester worth of work in science.

  Well 100 years ago ,Thomas  Edison and Henry ford  make a bet how the would  cars evolve in the future . Thomas Edison that the electric car and he invented and pioneer inventions of batteries but  Ford disagree and said it was gonna be fossil fuel or gasoline.
   
    And everybody know who won . But now who will win in the future ??

    Gasoline, in some sense is concentrated sunlight time probably at the dinosaurs age ( process that takes millions of years) . Per kilogram the how many joules per gasoline is much larger than the energy content of a battery .

  So it takes a large battery to compensate the energy contain in gasoline. Which is quite efficient even though it pollute like hell . Thats why there should be a new generation of batteries.
   Some scientist believe nano-battery may be the future . It turns out if you wanna store energy. You can store energy in parallel plates call capacitors. Plates can be make extremely thin as thin as molecules. So in principal you may be aloud to store enormous amount of energy in carbon nano fibers and plates call graphin .
Thats why they believe nano technology might be able to make super charge battery. But not yet because there's much to investigate and learn about nano technology. So right now, though luck for gasoline is still the efficient source of fuel ( but hard for the environment)

Solemn swear

  A solemn swear is not a subject that should be taking lightly, ( well to me at least) . I finally decided it is time to correct my idiotic decision and work all I got .

 Under this glorious Thursday Winter sunshine, I decided to not slack off and regret every decision in life and take the initiative the actually do for the better.

Wishes ( poetry)

 I ask the blue of the heavens ,

 Where are you ?

   Dreaming of the faraway, what I see

  is your shadow, an illusion of you

 Beyond the rainbow, 

I cannot draw near to it 

 no matter how I try.

 Tomorrow,

I wish to meet you,

Darkness

 Nel mezzo del cammin di nostra

vitami ritrovai per una selva oscura

ché la diritta via era smarrita.

   Ever got the feeling that your falling into darkness a never ending pit. Or a merciless dream where your wandering around alone....lost. This sensation and feeling, yet again left me vulnerable and afraid however this is like one of those days where I reflect and ponder of how lifes been . 

   Memories flood through my brain, details and the image tampering. It look so unreal and raw. 

  This continuous dread and worrying, that  this is not how I want fate to intervene.  But its not all lost I need to keep faith and don't lose the one purpose and hopefully God shall lead the way and illuminate this foolish human .  

  Midway upon the journey of our lifes,

     I found myself within a forest of dark 

         For the straightforward path has been lost........