Thursday, December 23, 2010

The Mask

    As I matured , I become more and more aware of the large gap between the way that I felt and the way others around me felt.

   One day, the rabbit that we kept killed in a horrific manner  , some fireworks were placed in its mouth and set off. While everyone else cried, I felt horribly restless fidgeting by myself . Because I wasnt the least bit  sadden  by the death of the rabbit.

    I wonder why, why everyone was crying ? Ahh...I just couldn't understand .

     But if I was the only one wearing a calm expression , then they think I was odd. I had to cry as well . My face was  stiff and I couldn't really cry . What could they do when they find out my tears was fake ? I mustn't raise my head to face them ! everyone is clutching their stomach  and laughing . What so funny I wonder . I don't get it . But if I don't act like them, I will get exiled from the group.
      Must laugh ...have to laugh.... Laugh... No gotta cry ....Supposed to cry......No Im suppose to laugh......... I HAVE TO LAUGH...

     Something so simple , yet I can't do it.

    I'm weird ...I'm abnormal...

       It was as if  I were a black sheep born to live in isolation amongst pure white sheep's. 

     Without enjoying  the same things as my brethen. Nor sorrowing over the same things as they do , nor partaking the same meals , the comforting feelings my companions experience.  Such feelings as love , affection and sympathy were foerign to me and so as a wretch black sheep , the only thing I would do was

  to coat my Black coat in white powder , no choice but to masquerade as a white sheep .

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

This is one post that sent me bone chilling shivers