Expectation its either bad or good

  In life, you have expectations of yourself  and everyone probably has expectation in you. Most people believe that expectation is good for you because it challenge you and it give you a goal to work for it. But how about the minority of the other people ,people like me??
     I don't have any expectation because I guess I loathe it. Other people in my life, has expectation in me even though they say you can do whatever you want to. Maybe the reason why I hate it because I don't have self confidence in myself.
    Now that I think of it, subconsciously I am comparing myself to other people that is better at that thing. Or maybe is just an excuse to take the easy way out of a great future and just dump it for a not promising  years to come ahead.
      But whatever Im doing, do not be like me.  Because its just so pitiful that  I'm being an ungrateful person for my dad and mom that sacrifice them self for my education.Or maybe in reality , maybe just maybe I'm scared that if I try to do something. I might fail my parents. 

    *sigh* Just wish sometimes there's a pause button in life. So I can think a way out of this dilemma in my life.
                               ( but that is not fun isn't it?? )